When all the others were away at Mass
I was all hers as we peeled potatoes.
They broke the silence, let fall one by one
Like solder weeping off the soldering iron:
Cold comforts set between us, things to share
Gleaming in a bucket of clean water.
And again let fall. Little pleasant splashes
From each other's work would bring us to our senses.
So while the parish priest at her bedside
Went hammer and tongs at prayers for the dying
And some were responding and some crying
I remembered her head bent towards my head,
Her breath in mine, our fluent dipping knives --
Never closer the whole rest of our lives.
I was all hers as we peeled potatoes.
They broke the silence, let fall one by one
Like solder weeping off the soldering iron:
Cold comforts set between us, things to share
Gleaming in a bucket of clean water.
And again let fall. Little pleasant splashes
From each other's work would bring us to our senses.
So while the parish priest at her bedside
Went hammer and tongs at prayers for the dying
And some were responding and some crying
I remembered her head bent towards my head,
Her breath in mine, our fluent dipping knives --
Never closer the whole rest of our lives.
from "Clearances"
Seamus Heaney
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| circa 1961 |
I had two mothers...
...Heaney has evoked the one with his powerful image of his mother and himself in the kitchen peeling potatoes for the evening meal. "I was all hers..." My memories of cooking with mommy are also just of the two of us, though surely the rest of you must all have been around somewhere. The bonds of love formed, not so much with words, but with food. A sharing not so much of thoughts but of enticing smells and sounds of cooking...tomato sauce bubbling on the stove, meatballs sizzling in the pan... the heavenly aromas mingling with the steamy chocolate pudding slowly thickening on the back of the wooden cooking spoon. "Here, Jeanne" she says as she hands me the spoon. "Keep stirring this while I get the salad ready." She delighted in the anticipation of a home cooked meal as much as anyone. As to how she maintained her enthusiasm for the effort over all those years...? ...well... One thing I do know is that now, when I cook in my own kitchen, I "feel her breath in mine..."
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| circa 1960 |
My other mother began to surface in the summer of 1986. The cooking done, the children reared, the apron strings cut, oceans crossed, a mother transformed herself. Hungry to share her new life and fresh insights with a daughter who had once shunned her as a friend, she began to write. If one of mommy's greatest gifts to me was her joy of cooking, the other was the joy of freedom, of self discovery, of power to fashion an identity true to herself, that emerged post '86. When I revisited her letters for this blog, I appreciated, even more than before, that the journey on which she embarked is a profound legacy for all of us... Here are some of her pearls...
August 1986
on life in NYC..."I count my blessings, which are many, every day."
December 1987
on getting sober and giving up trying to control her children..."I wish I knew then, what I know now. My life would have been a lot easier."
November 1988
on her new found independence..."Now, for me, life is so unpredictable and exciting it frightens me."
December 1988
on looking back..."It is very difficult to put into words exactly how I feel today. It is all still very confusing to me but I do know that I don't want to go back to where I was two years ago. Once we can accept where we are today, our lives become much more manageable and sweet."
December 1988
on disagreements..."We have to be able to discuss our differences with one another and not be afraid of confrontations."
February 1989
on communicating better with her children..."It is important to me to be able to give and take with all of my children today and to be able to recognise their humanness and tenderness." ..."I am able to day to look at life and accept it for what it is. I'm not saying it's easy, but the results are so rewarding."
June 1989
on reaching out..."I'm never alone anymore. It's great!"
January 1990
on trying (and failing) ..."Try to use your experiences as a learning process with the thought that someday you may be able to help someone else who is struggling with the sense of loss and incompleteness that you feel now...and remember, your feelings are all important, but they are not facts and as such you can face them squarely and then let them go....I know you will come through this trying time in your life a wonderful, loving and understanding person."
October 1990
on personal growth..."I'm happier than I've been in a long time. Nothing has changed around me, but I have changed."
******
Lobster Newburg
From
Joy of Cooking
This was a great favorite, served at dinner parties for the grown-ups when we lived in Somers. It was often served with one of Dad's Pyromaniac Cookbook recipes like crepes or cherries jubilee. Cooking it, smelling and tasting it was truly a blast from the past...so evocative of the wild dancing parties of their youth! It's super simple to prepare!
Here's the Newburg Sauce recipe from the Joy of Cooking. I didn't bother with the lobster butter. I bought uncooked shrimp and cooked it up in butter, then added the liquid to the sauce to get the shellfish flavor. It worked out fine like that.
Makes:1 cup
- Ingredients
1 tsp (5 ml) shallots, finely chopped
1/4 cup (60 ml) sherry or Madeira
1 cup (225 ml) cream
3 egg yolks
1 tbsp (15 ml) tomato paste (optional)
1 tbsp (15 ml) cognac or brandy (optional)
shells from 1 lb (.5 kg). or shrimp or 1 large lobster
1/2 cup (125 ml) butter
2 tbsp (30 ml) water
ice water
Preparation
Dry shells in a low oven for a short time.
Pound them om a morter or put them through a food grinder, so they are broken up as finely as possible.
Melt butter in double boiler over hot water.
Add shells and 2 tbsp (30 ml) water.
Simmer for 10 minutes-do not boil.
Line a sieve with cheesecloth and strain the hot butter into a bowl of ice water.
Refrigerate and skim off the butter when it hardens.
Melt lobster or shrimp butter in a double boiler.
Add shallots and cook until translucent.
Add sherry or Madeira and cook about 3 minutes.
Beat egg yolks into cream.
Add the two mixtures stirring constantly until the sauce thickens.
If you want add tomato paste and possibly brandy or cognac.
Use at once
Once the sauce is made, throw in the cooked lobster or shrimp and serve over rice.
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| Andrew's expertly executed photo shoot of the final result |
